


WE ARE MEME GODS

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Chatting & Messaging, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay Bucky Barnes, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Teen Angst, Trans Peter Parker, i have abandoned everything in my life to write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-24 14:31:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17102369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A shitty introduction to a series that no one wantedWe meet a new childBucky lost a penLoki put snakes in a closet for the 3rd time this week





	1. welcome to hell

**Author's Note:**

> No one wanted this. I had way too much fun with this. Yall should read 'skate fast eat ass' by cryptic_potato. #inspiration 
> 
> I am literally running on monster and coffee send halp
> 
> Background Info:
> 
> All either 17 or 18 so juniors or seniors
> 
> I'm a slut for Bucky being a slut so theirs that
> 
> Peter Parker is 15 cause we stan a smart boi

DrAmA  
members:  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)

wednesday, 10:07 a.m

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: If I were to hypothetically punch Bucky Barnes in the face how much trouble would I get into?

arrowdude: oh shit she used punctuation

arrowdude: shes serious

falconforyou: i wouldn't recommend

falconforyou: punching best bros usually doesnt end well

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: but he lost my favorite pen

falconforyou: the one wanda gave you?

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: that one 

falconforyou: you may proceed 

__ 

wednesday, 2:43

arrowdude: guys 

arrowdude: i have tea 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: spill 

arrowdude: you know shuri right? 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: the super smart lesbian queen who i have biology with 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: the shuri who called out the teacher for wearing sandals and whose brother is none other than the infamous t'challa 

arrowdude: yeah that one 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: shes a icon 

arrowdude: well apparently she got the school to let one of her science buds skip a grade 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: eXcUsE mE 

arrowdude: rich people privilege amiright

falconforyou: whatd i miss 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: scroll 

falconforyou: DAMN

falconforyou: how the hell did she get the school to do that 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: probably bribes or smth 

arrowdude: i thought you had a small gay crush on her 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: oh i do 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: but i will not stand for another nerd

falconforyou: who is it? 

arrowdude: idk 

arrowdude: ask bucky? 

falconforyou: ask bucky

_ 

A hot mess  
members:  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou) 

wednesday, 2:37 p.m.

arrowdude: bucky do u know the tea 

fuckybarnes: which cup 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: shuri and new kid 

fuckybarnes: mm 

fuckybarnes: i think hes a family friend of stark 

falconforyou: whyyyyy 

falconforyou: i had hoppee

fuckybarnes: sweetie 

fuckybarnes: we all lost hope a hell of long time ago

arrowdude: truth 

falconforyou: any other info 

fuckybarnes: why not ask him yourself

fuckybarnes added hardcoreparker to the chat

hardcoreparker: hello?

hardcoreparker: god?

fuckybarnes: nope

hardcoreparker: oh im sorry

hardcoreparker: jesus?

fuckybarnes: i like this one

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: welcome to the seventh circle of hell

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: now who r u

hardcoreparker: Peter Parker ma’am

hardcoreparker: 15 and ready to die

arrowdude: HE IS A BABY

falconforyou: there may be hope for salvation just yet

falconforyou: also same

arrowdude: this child needs our help

arrowdude: we cannot let him starve on the streets 

arrowdude: we cannot let him go into this cruel world alone

hardcoreparker: but I’m not alone 

hardcoreparker: i have mister stark

fuckybarnes: WE DO NOT SPEAK THAT DEVILS NAME HERE

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: cleanse yourself of that demons teachings and join the side of the good

falconforyou: nat you broke a kids arm last friday

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: questionably good side

hardcoreparker: k sure 

arrowdude: thats it

hardcoreparker: tonys kinda a dick anyway

fuckybarnes: understatement of the year

fuckybarnes: but we must ask the most important question 

fuckybarnes: it will determine if we will adopt you

fuckybarnes: are you straight?

hardcoreparker: whats that never heard of her

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: THANK GOD

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: I was drowning in straights

_

odinsons  
members:  
Loki Odinson (godofmischief)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)

wednesday 3:56 p.m.

thorder: LOKI YOU NEED TO MOVE THE SNAKES OUT OF THE CLOSET

thorder: THEY ARE ESCAPING

godofmischief: how is this my problem

thorder: THEY ARE IN MY ROOM

godofmischief: i will repeat

godofmischief: how is this my problem

burninginhela: how is this his problem?

thorder: I WILL HIT THEM WITH A HAMMER

godofmischeif: DONT HURT MY BABYS PLZ 

thorder: COME AND GET THEM THEN

angryscience: why am i here

burninginhela: honorary member

burninginhela: boyfriend status and such

thorder: HAVE SOME DECENCY

thorder: DO NOT CALL YOUR SUGAR DADDY IN THE MIDDLE OF SNAKE CATCHING

thorder: OR IN FRONT OF YOUR BROTHER

godofmischief: grand master isn’t my sugar daddy

burninginhela: and i like people

burninginhela: GODDAMN IT THOR

burninginhela: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PUTTING YOUR LESBIAN PRIDE FLAG WITH THE WHITES

thorder: i apologize sister

thorder: but tell loki to stop putting SNAKES IN MY CLOSET

angryscience: this house is a nightmare


	2. the jabberwok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet a Wade  
> Tony is tired  
> Hela gets a pet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am fairly sure that i am on something :)  
> (im not plz dont call the cops)

A hot mess  
members:  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)

thursday, 9:27 a.m

falconforyou: HOLY SHIT GUYS

falconforyou: LOKI JUST STARED DOWN MR. FURY AS HE CALLED HIS SUGAR DADDY

falconforyou: IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TEST 

falconforyou: WITH HIS BROTHER IN THE ROOM

fuckybarnes: I CAN’T BREATHEEEE

fuckybarnes: SEND MEDICAL ASSISTANCE

arrowdude: iM cRyInG

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: a icon

hardcoreparker: i bet fury was FURYous

falconforyou: blocked and dismembered

_

thursday, 12:59 p.m. 

hardcoreparker: who be the dude with the burn scars 

fuckybarnes: who

hardcoreparker: the guy with the burn scars

fuckybarnes: oh wade wilson

fuckybarnes: he apparently tried to burn down his old school

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: how did you know who peter was talking about the second time

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: he gave you literally the same description

fuckybarnes: intuition

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: ??????

arrowdude: why

arrowdude: did he do something

arrowdude: should i punch him

hardcoreparker: no uncle clint

hardcoreparker: hes fine

falconforyou: cryptic

_

for science  
members:

Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)  
Shuri (whatarethosee)

thursday, 9:58 a.m.

ironyman: peter quill just asked me if i got into a fight

whatarethosee: did you?

whatarethosee: more importantly did you win?

angryscience: no he just has eye bags so dark they look like black eyes

whatarethosee: mood

ironyman: are they really that bad???

angryscience: yes

ironyman: WAIT WE HAD HW 

whatarethosee: we always have hw you colonizer

ironyman: WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS

ironyman: QUICK

whatarethosee: whats in it for me

angryscience: homework.jpg

whatarethosee: you are a horrible business man

ironyman: THANK YOU BRUCCCIIIEEE

whatarethosee: disgusting

whatarethosee: why is peter sitting with natasha

whatarethosee: the traitor

angryscience: ask him

whatarethosee added hardcoreparker to the chat

whatarethosee: TRAITOR

hardcoreparker: ???

whatarethosee: YOU BETRAYED ME FOR THE SPIDER WOMAN

hardcoreparker: they adopted me

whatarethosee: I GOT YOU INTO THIS HELL HOLE IN THE FIRST PLACE

hardcoreparker: they don’t like tony

hardcoreparker: and my brain got me into this hell hole

ironyman: wait 

ironyman: they don’t like me

ironyman: i thought we were buds

angryscience: what did you do

ironyman: wait

ironyman: did we have a group project in history 

angryscience: yeah?

ironyman: shit

ironyman left the chat

whatarethosee: HOW DARE YOU PETER

whatarethosee: I THOUGHT YOU WERE BAE

whatarethosee: BUT TURNS OUT YOU WERE JUST FAM

hardcoreparker: im sorry shuri

hardcoreparker: can i repay you by helping you steal t’challas sandals?

whatarethosee: YES

whatarethosee: IVE BEEN WORKIG ON A PLAN FOR MONTHS

angryscience: why

angryscience: why do you do this

_

the demons™  
members:  
Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)

ironyman: guys im sorry

ironyman: i totally spaced

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: whats that

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: im sorry i cant hear LIARS

ironyman: im sorry ok

arrowdude: you made us do the entire thing by OURSELVES

arrowdude: you know we have the brain power of a oreo

fuckybarnes: you said you would do it 

fuckybarnes: to make up for last time

falconforyou: you betrayed us for the final time

ironyman: im sorryyyy

ironyman: what can i do to make it up to you

arrowdude: buy us a bathtub of oreos

fuckybarnes: a million dollars

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: a lawyer

falconforyou: a fully paid trip to target

ironyman: i can do all of that except the million dollars

fuckybarnes: :(

falconforyou: TARGET TOMORROW BITCHES

falconforyou: FUCK SCHOOL WERE GOING SHOPPING

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: I GET TO RIDE IN THE CART

arrowdude: IM SMALLER

fuckybarnes: WHOEVER GETS TO THE CART FIRST GETS TO RIDE IN IT

ironyman: what have i done

_

odinsons  
members:

Loki Odinson (godofmischief)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)

thursday, 5:43 p.m.

burninginhela: i have a new pet

thorder: PLEASE NO MORE SNAKES

burninginhela: its not a snake

burninginhela: its a dog

thordor: thank the gods

thorder: THATS A WOLF

thorder: HELA THATS A WOLF

burninginhela: your point?

thorder: ITS A WOLF

godofmischeif: we’re allowed to have you in the house

godofmischeif: at least this one is noble

thorder: you wound me brother

godofmischeif: not a brother at the moment

thorder: i apologize

thorder: you wound me sister

burninginhela: his name is fenris

burninginhela: if you hurt him he will tear your throat out and then i will eat your fingers

angryscience: …

angryscience: i am going to pretend im not here

_

basketcase#7  
members: 

Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)  
Loki Odinson (godofmischeif)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)

friday, 3:02 a.m.

fuckybarnes: ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves 

fuckybarnes:  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: 

fuckybarnes: All mimsy were the borogoves, 

ironyman: bucky what the fuck

fuckybarnes: And the mome raths outgrabe.

fuckybarnes: “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: whY is my pheone goign off at 3 am

fuckybarnes: The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

fuckybarnes: Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

hardcoreparker: The frumious Bandersnatch!”

angryscience: whAT IN the FUCKINg HEll

ironyman: peter not you too

hardcoreparker: He took his vorpal sword in hand;

fuckybarnes:  Long time the manxome foe he sought—

arrowdude: SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP

fuckybarnes: So rested he by the Tumtum tree

fuckybarnes:  And stood awhile in thought.

hardcoreparker: And, as in uffish thought he stood,

godofmischeif: I WILL DIGEST YOUR TEETH IF YOU DONT SHUT UP

fuckybarnes: The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

hardcoreparker: Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

fuckybarnes: And burbled as it came!

thorder: YOU ARE AGITATING LOKI

thorder: HE MIGHT STAB SOMEONE AGAIN

hardcoreparker: One, two! One, two! And through and through

fuckybarnes: The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! 

hardcoreparker: He left it dead, and with its head 

fuckybarnes: He went galumphing back.

falconforyou: “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” He chortled in his joy. ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,  And the mome raths outgrabe

falconforyou: there

falconforyou: theres the rest of the fucking poem

falconforyou: now GO TO SLEEP

fuckybarnes: your no fun

hardcoreparker: :’(

falconforyou: IT ISNT EVEN A MEME

fuckybarnes: https://youtu.be/TlyrweRsILk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give credit for the name 'basketcase #7' to my friend who read this and asked where i got the crack
> 
> I am not on crack just sleep deprived
> 
> Also
> 
> I need to give shuri a better name  
> Suggestions are welcome
> 
> suggestions for anything are welcome really


	3. target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> target 
> 
> that is all i have to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup its ur favorite trash mammal 
> 
> my headphones are dying but my seemingly endless supply of bad ideas for this series are not 
> 
> can you tell i love target?
> 
> thanks for all the support!!!!!

A hot mess  
members:  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)

friday, 5:27 am

arrowdude: WAKE UP BITCHES

arrowdude: ITS TARGET TIME

]natdrunkenoughforyourBS: wtf

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: its too early to leave the normal universe

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: and travel to the paradox timeline called target

hardcoreparker: am i missing something

fuckybarnes: tony missed a group project

fuckybarnes: in return we apparently get a bathtub of oreos, a lawyer, and an all expenses paid trip to target

hardcorerparker: is that what he was upset about in the science group chat

falconforyou: he let you into the for science group chat

falconforyou: we havent even seen a message from that chat

falconforyou: we are all fairly certain there is a plans for some poison or smth

hardcoreparker: is that why all of you were mad at him and wanted me to abandon all alliances

fuckybarnes: in all fairness you abandoned him with 0 resistance

hardcoreparker: i was salty he lost our snapchat streak

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: you are on fucking thin ice from the stunt you and bucky pulled last night

arrowdude: REMEBER WE SAID WHOEVER GOT THERE FIRST GOT TO RIDE IN THE CART

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: NVM IM UP

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: SEE YOU HOES 

fuckybarnes: i am the biggest hoe

falconforyou: no one is going to fight you on that

hardcoreparker: i mean ur username is fuckybarnes

arrowdude: NVM BUCKYS TRAIL OF A DOZEN MEN 

arrowdude: PETER ARE YOU COMING TO TARGET WITH US

fuckybarnes: i am offended

fuckybarnes: i haven’t fucked a dozen men

fuckybarnes: ive fucked four dozen

hardcoreparker: i cant go

arrowdude: WHY NOT

hardcoreparker: i promised shuri i would help her steal t’challas sandals

hardcoreparker: to make up for betraying her to sit with nat in chem

natdrunkenoughforyourBS; HA BITCHES IM HERE

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: suckitclint.jpg

arrowdude: :(

falconforyou: pics or it didnt happen peter

hardcoreparker: shuri will probably post it to her yt channel

fuckybarnes: shuri has a yt channel?

hardcoreparker: ill send a link later

arrowdude: YOU TWO NEED TO GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE SO WE CAN START THIS 

fuckybarnes: im picked up sam rn 

fuckybarnes: calm down you target obesessed psychotic bird

hardcoreparker: are u driving rn

fuckybarnes: yeah

hardcoreparker: dOnT tExT aNd DrIvE

fuckybarnes: why

fuckybarnes: if i died nbd

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: Bucky.

fuckybarnes: IM JOKING

fuckybarnes: we’ll be there in 3 minutes

fuckybarnes: you can get us starbucks

hardcoreparker: i gtg guys

hardcoreparker: school

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: cya

hardcoreparker left the chat

arrowdude: your usuals?

falconforyou: yep

__

friday, 8:09 a.m.

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: clint where are you

arrowdude: i think im in a dressing room

falconforyou: you think?

arrowdude: idk 

fuckybarnes: ill look for him when i go try this skirt on

fuckybarnes: its dark blue, pleated, and ankle length 

fuckybarnes: it fits my figure well

fuckybarnes: mybrand.jpg

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: get it

falconforyou: tag urself I’m the discarded pile of clothes in the corner

fuckybarnes: i dont see clint

arrowdude: the doors stuck and i cant get out

arrowdude: i have also decided this is the womans changing room

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: do i even want to know

arrowdude: wait i just found a vent

arrowdude: ill be fine

falconforyou: clint i swear to god if you climb into another vent

arrowdude: ill tty in a bit

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: WAIT IM ON MY WAY

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: GODDAMN IT CLINT

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED ANOTHER MINUTE

__

friday, 11:33 a. m. 

arrowdude: sup guys

falconforyou: WHERE ARE YOU

arrowdude: follow the sound of my voice

fuckybarnes: …

fuckybarnes: are you singing red solo cup?

arrowdude: foooollloowww mmmyyyy voooiiiccceeee

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: why are you directly above the bra section

arrowdude: am i actually

arrowdude: im better than i thought

__

friday, 11:49 a.m.

falconforyou: what do you guys think of this jacket

falconforyou: img1302.jpg

fuckybarnes: if i can get a ankle length skirt you can get a feathered jacket

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: bucky why did i just see you stuff 3 video games into ur jacket

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: you are aware this is a fully paid trip

fuckybarnes: yes but this makes it fun

falconforyou: why am i friends with any of you

__

friday, 12:57 p.m.

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: bucky got himself a boyyyfrrrieenddd

fuckybarnes: that is a LIE

fuckybarnes: LIES AND SLANDER

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: than what was that look

fuckybarnes: pics or it didnt happen

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: thelook.jpg

fuckybarnes: nat what the FUCK

arrowdude: bucky has a boyfffrrrienndd 

natdrunkenoughforyoutBS: it looks so rom commy its almost painful

falconforyou: get urself someone who looks at u the way bucky looks at blondy there

fuckybarnes: FUCK OFF

__

friday, 2:16 p.m. 

fuckybarnes: RUN GUYS

fuckybarnes: BACK TO THE PORSCHE

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: WHAT DID YOU DO

fuckybarnes: I GOT CAUGHT

arrowdude: GODDAMN IT BUCKY

arrowdude: IM STAYING IN MY VENT FUCK U

falconforyou: nat u good

falconforyou: i just saw you almost get tackled by a security guard 

falconforyou: and now ur just sprinting into the distance

fuckybarnes: IM OUT OF HERE

fuckybarnes: CLINT CAN GIVE U A RIDE HOME

falconforyou: k ima get another starbucks

__

 

odinsons  
members:

Loki Odinson (godofmischief)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)

friday, 4:12 p.m.

thorder: would any of thou be willing to assist me in maths

angryscience: sure babe 

angryscience: just let me finish this one thing real quick

burninginhela: would this one thing have anything to do with the fact that the house smells like smoke

burninginhela: and the reason loki is grinning like the cat that ate the canary

godofmischeif: cant i smile for no reason

angryscience: we caught the kitchen on fire

godofmischeif: everything is ablaze

thorder: YOU ALLOWED THIS

angryscience: it was unintentional

angryscience: i was doing their nails

angryscience: then loki poured the remover over the stove

burninginhela: YOU BETTER START RUNNING YOU GREASE DIPPED WEASEL 

burninginhela: THE SMOKE MIGHT HURT FENRIS

godofmischeif: i dare you

angryscience: babe want me to help u with the math homework now

__

untitled chat  
members:

Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Wade Wilson (smartassantihero)

hardcoreparker: hey

smartassantihero: yo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually own a skirt exactly like the one bucky tried on
> 
> yes i bought it at target
> 
> it is iconic


	4. chrysler special pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy crimus  
> its chrismun  
> merry crisis  
> merry chrysler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to deal with relatives and i am EXHAUSTED
> 
> to exhausted to write something that progresses the plot
> 
> so enjoy this tiny even more shitposty than normal 2 part crisis special

basketcase#7  
members: 

Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)  
Loki Odinson (godofmischeif)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)

tuesday, 12:07 a.m.

falconforyou: ho ho hoe 

falconforyou: its chrysler 

fuckybarnes: it is MIDNIGHT

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: dont lie to yourself

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: we were all awake

hardcoreparker: i feel called out

godofmischeif: i was sleeping

godofmischeif: i was preparing myself for a afternoon of misgendering with Asgard Inc.

thorder: i dont understand what you dislike so much about them

thorder: they are the best!

godofmischeif: you would think so

godofmischeif: they absolutely ADORE you

burninginhela: at least they acknowledge your existence

burninginhela: i wasn’t even invited 

hardcoreparker: rip :(

hardcoreparker: im just hanging with aunt may

hardcoreparker: the perks of having no other family i guess

ironyman: ouch 

ironyman: i think its between the odinsons christmas and mine for the worst holiday

falconforyou: whats with yours

ironyman: my father

falconforyou: fair

falconforyou: he is a grade A asshole

ironyman: if you looked up asshole in the dictionary you would see Howard Stark

arrowdude: mine is pretty chill

arrowdude: just gotta visit my extremely old fashioned grandparents

fuckybarnes: R I P

fuckybarnes: but honestly same

fuckybarnes: cue me trying not to stab someone

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i get to go to mini russia

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: aka my fathers

falconforyou: oof 

angryscience: im not doing christmas this year

falconforyou: WHAT  
angryscience: i dont really have anyone to celebrate it with

angryscience: with being disowned and all

thorder: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME!!!

thorder: YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME TO THE DINNER AS MY DATE

angryscience: aww sure babe

burninginhela: i hate to rain on your true love train

burninginhela: but 

burninginhela: they are all raging homophobes

burninginhela: reminder of what got me shunned

godofmischeif: that didn’t even make sense

godofmischeif: they cant handle the idea of you kissing ANYONE???

godofmischeif: so what your aromantic and asexual

godofmischeif: i truly do not understand it

falconforyou: oooof

arrowdude: sam what r u doing

arrowdude; u seem excited

falconforyou: well

falconforyou: im going over to my grandparents

fuckybarnes: the same grandparents who brought your mother rugs from 3 states away because they thought hers were ugly

falconforyou: those are the ones

falconforyou: but the reason im excited is because 

falconforyou; IM GETTING A HOVER BOARD

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i hate you

natdrunkenoughforyourBS left the chat

hardcoreparker: AW COOL

hardcoreparker: CAN I BORROW IT

__

 

tuesday, 3:19 p.m.

arrowdude: guys

arrowdude: my father just started talking politics with my grandpa

arrowdude: i am concerned

falconforyou: you should

arrowdude: hes talking about how farmers are failing

arrowdude: to my grandpa who is a farmer

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: OOF

arrowdude: we just finished the trump convo

ironyman: fuck

ironyman: that convo

arrowdude: thank god my grandpa is super chill

arrowdude: audioclip.exe

arrowdude: shots fired

fuckybarnes: omfg

arrowdude: my mom got in on the action

arrowdude: audionclip2.exe

falconforyou: that was something else

arrowdude: audioclip3.exe

fuckybarnes: omfg haha

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: this is quality

arrowdude: omg he left

angryscience: wait what

arrowdude: my dad left

fuckybarnes: omfg

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: hahahhahha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this at 12:07 am 
> 
> i meant to finish it and post it at around 12:30- 1
> 
> but then i fell asleep 
> 
> so srry


	5. chrysler special pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas and movie plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHhhhhhhhh
> 
> i am so sorry
> 
> its super short and bad but its all i had time for

basketcase#7  
members: 

Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)  
Loki Odinson (godofmischeif)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)

tuesday, 4:32 p.m.

thorder: LOKI YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILE

angryscience: what happened

thorder: LOKI THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO SET LOOSE A CRATE LOAD OF VENOMOUS SNAKES INTO THE VENUE

godofmischeif: they were only to be unleashed if something catastrophic were to occur

thorder: WHAT WOULD SETTING SNAKES LOOSE DO TO STOP THE CATASTROPHE 

godofmischeif: it got me out of the coversation with crusty old man volstagg

godofmischeif: he was talking about he great he was and how everyone who didn’t fit into his standards are lesser beings

godofmischeif: basically barely passive aggressive comments towards me

godofmischeif: there was also of course father totally dissing me and hela

godofmischeif: at least these snakes don’t parade around in human skins

godofmischeif: unlike almost everyone at that ‘party’

burninginhela: i am still not over how father called me a ‘lesbian in denial’

thorder: how am i going to explain this?

godofmischeif: simple

godofmischeif: blame it on me

godofmischeif: they would think it was me anyway

angryscience: did anyone get hurt?

thorder: thankfully no

godofmischeif: unfortunately no

thorder: LOKI

burninginhela: i agree with loki

burninginhela: it is truly unfortunate that no one got bitten

fuckybarnes: will you all shut up

fuckybarnes: i am listening to a intense conversation about why our government is failing

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i just horrified my aunt

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: “he has 3 kids under 4. if there was a cougar you would shoot it.” 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: me: “your point?”

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: cue my aunts horrified expression

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: it should really be a reaction image

ironyman: ah right 

ironyman: I forgot about how much you hate children

burninginhela: they are horrible little demons

burninginhela: so annoying and self centered

hardcoreparker: but I’m technically a child

burninginhela: but your a good child

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: you aren’t like a little little child

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: you aren’t a gremlin

hardcoreparker: your right

hardcoreparker: i am a meme lord

falconforyou: im a meme god

falconforyou: get on my level kid

hardcorreparker: :’(

_

tuesday, 7:09 p.m.

hardcoreparker: we should all go the movies sometime

burninginhela: no

burninginhela: that is too many people 

thorder: aww come on sis

thorder: it’ll be fun

thorder: you’ll get free food

burninginhela: alright fine

burninginhela: nachos

angryscience: sure

angryscience: i heard a new deadpool movie is coming out

ironyman: im down

ironyman: on me

falconforyou: can i ride my hover board??

hardcoreparker: sure

hardcoreparker: as long i can ride it home

falconforyou: deal

arrowdude: we should see how long it takes them to kick us out

godofmischeif: i will go for that reason alone

fuckybarnes: you are all terrible

fuckybarnes: it sounds great

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: ill join

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: vanessa is hot


	6. filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a filler chapter filled with romance and knives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHhhhhhhhh

basketcase#7  
members: 

Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)  
Loki Odinson (godofmischeif)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)

saturday, 5:54 p.m.

hardcoreparker: I CANT BELIEVE YOU GOT US KICKED OUT OF THE MOVIES

godofmischeif: but did you see their face??

godofmischeif: it was beautiful

natdrunkenoughtforyourBS: i got a picture

natdrunkenoughtforyourBS: img9284.png

falconforyou: FUCKING HOW

falconforyou: HOW DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE PICTURES

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i have a very specific skill set

arrowdude: yeah that doesnt help

angryscience: what did you even do

angryscience: me and thor were watching mean girls so fill me in

hardcoreparker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

thorder: MEAN GIRLS IS VERY SERIOUS

thorder: YOU DO NOT FUCK DURING MEAN GIRLS

burninginhela: its true i havent seen them so much as cuddle during mean girls

fuckybarnes: then whats even the point???

ironyman: you a thirsty hoe

ironyman: we need to get you a man

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: he does

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: there was the blonde babe in target

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i mean im not picky so DAMN

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: blondbabe.png

hardcoreparker: *bisexual distress*

ironyman: oh thats stevie

fuckybarnes: WAIT YOU KNOW HIM

ironyman: yeah i used to go to school with him

ironyman: super nice guy

ironyman: real dad type

ironyman: but damn he got JACKED

fuckybarnes: can i have his number pweese

ironyman: im not sure

arrowdude: i will physically restrain you if you do not give him his number

arrowdude: i for one and 100% done with bucky being a thirsty bitch

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i second that notion

ironyman: FINEEEE

____

A hot mess  
members:  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)

saturday, 5:57 p.m.

fuckybarnes: so peter

fuckybarnes: forgetting about my relationships

fuckybarnes: what about you

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: oh yes the tea please

hardcoreparker: uhh i dont know what your talking about

falconforyou: i call bullshit

falconforyou: i saw you sneak into the locker room during gym 

falconforyou: shortly followed by WADE FUCKING WILSON

fuckybarnes: AND YOU THOUGHT TO KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF

fuckybarnes: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

falconforyou: in all fairness i told clint

arrowdude: dont drag me into this

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: GUYS WHAT THE SHIT

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: I NEED TO HAVE TABS ON MY SPIDER CHILD

hardcoreparker: *slowly fades into the background*

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: peter

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: explain

hardcoreparker: i uh may have a boyfriend?

arrowdude: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

hardcoreparker: like a week ago?

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: AND YOU DIDNT TELL US

hardcoreparker: look he wanted to announce with like confetti and a pony or smth

fuckybarnes: yeah that sounds like wade

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: hmm

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: be careful

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i may just have to have a chat with wade

hardcoreparker: nat plz dont

natdrunkenoughforyourBS left the chat

arrowdude: welp looks like ur single now

___

untitled chat

Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Wade Wilson (smartassking)

saturday, 6:00 p.m.

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: so.

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: you are interesting in dating my spider child

smartassking: kinda late for that

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: excuse me?

smartassking: nothing 

smartassking: sorry ma’am

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: thats more like it

smartassking: really put the mom pants on there nat

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: thank you 

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i think peter is panicking

smartassking: now i get to swoop in and comfort?

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: yep

smartassking: yay

smartassking: you are the best wing-woman

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: wear protection

smartassking: mm

_____

 

odinsons  
members:

Loki Odinson (godofmischief)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)

saturday, 11:23 p.m.

burninginhela: right

burninginhela: who stole the vodka

angryscience: loki 

godofmischeif: i did not

angryscience: well i didn’t and I’m doing thors eyeliner so who else would it be

burninginhela: loki give it back i will stab you

godofmischeif: i dare you

thorder: i just heard a thud that sounded suspiciously like a knife getting thrown into a wall

angryscience: what

burninginhela: loki

burninginhela: vodka 

burninginhela: now

godofmischeif: SHE HAS A KNIFE

angryscience: sigh

thorder: loki give it back

godofmischeif: cant i drank it all

burninginhela: WHAT

burninginhela: THAT WAS FUCKING EXPENSIVE

thorder: reccomend you start running

angryscience: how are you all still alive

___notification___

sunday 2:12 a.m.

PARTY AT GAMORA’S HOUSE THIS FRIDAY

FREE BOOZE


	7. brandon rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what nat did after target  
> the maximoff siblings get a introduced  
> steve gets two lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more introductions to characters yay  
> i was planning on starting on stony but then i didnt know where to fit it in  
> next chapter shit goes down

A hot mess  
members:  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)

sunday, 12:08 p.m.

arrowdude: nat you never did tell us where you went after you got chased out of target

falconforyou: yeah you were mia for like a day

fuckybarnes: and then when you /did/ show up you had some of the /best/ weed id ever had

peterparker: yeah i heard about that threw wade

peterparker: what happened

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: uhhhhh

natdrunkenoughfotyourBS: i may have crashed at a friends house

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: and they happen to grow pot so they let me have some?

arrowdude: but you don’t smoke pot

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: they kinda just gave it to me?

fuckybarnes: i need to know who it is 

fuckybarnes: right now

fuckybarnes: i will pay them

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: im not sure they would want me to tell

fuckybarnes: i will tell wanda you like her

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i dare you

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: and fuck that middle school shit

fuckybarnes: pweaase nat

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: that’ll be 50 bucks 

fuckybarnes: -_-

arrowdude: i will

hardcoreparker: omg u 2 r such stoners

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: it was wade

hardcoreparker: WHAT

hardcoreparker: YOUR FRIENDS WITH WADE  
hardcoreparker: YOU MADE ME PANIC OVER NOTHING

falconforyou: why am i not surprised about any of that

hardcoreparker: you devil woman

___

sunday 1:55 p.m.

hardcoreparker: pardon me are you aaron burr sir?

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT

fuckybarnes: that depends who’s asking?

arrowdude: oh well sure sir

falconforyou: im alexander hamilton at your service

hardcoreparker: ive been looking for you

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: this is why god abandoned this timeline

falconforyou: im getting nervous

arrowdude: i heard your name in priceton 

fuckybarnes: i was seeking an excellerated course of study

hardcoreparker: but i got sorta out of sorts with a buddy of yours

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: bucky has a brandon rogers shrine

hardcoreparker: WAIT WHAT

fuckybarnes: NAT HOW COULD YOU

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: it was the only way 

hardcoreparker: YOU HAVE ONE TOO?????

falconforyou: ???????

fuckybarnes: please i cum three men before noon

hardcoreparker: been there done that got the promotion 

fuckybarnes: call for the bliss, cause i fist to the wrist

hardcoreparker: eight years old and he thinks he knows poetry

fuckybarnes: just so you know i fucking won that fight

hardcoreparker: i remember that fight cause i won

fuckybarnes: the fuck did she say

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: well this backfired spectacularly

___

the originals

tony stark (ironyman)  
steve rogers (starspangledsteve)

sunday, 2:33 p.m.

starspangledsteve: i just saw you at starbucks and you are disowned

ironyman: you don’t talk to me in years and this is what you say

starspangledsteve: you are funding a corrupt society 

ironyman: ????????

_____

<3

Wanda Maximoff (crimsionwitch)  
Pietro Maximoff (fastandstoned)

sunday, 3:20 p.m.

crimsonwitch: where are you

crimsonwitch: i have orders to fill

crimsonwitch: hurry your ass up

fastandstoned: awww sissss

fastandstoned: see i would leave

fastandstoned: if i knew where i was

crimsionwitch: pietro not again

crimsionwitch: give whoever your with the phone

fastandstoned: yo

crimsowitch: where are you

crimsionwitch: i need to pick up my brother

fastandstoned: hes pretty out of it

fastandstoned: i think the booze was too strong

fastandstoned: i might have to change some elements

crimsonwitch: i dont care

crimsonwitch: let me pick him up or i will curse you

fastandstoned: curse me?

crimsonwitch: dont you recognize the username?

fastandstoned: wait are you that chick for esty  
fastandstoned: THIS is your brother

crimsonwitch: yeah hes a gay little shit who asks to test out alcohol and weed

crimsonwitch: now i want ur location

fastandstoned: ok fine just please don’t shirk my testicles

___

detention squad 

Shuri (princessofmemes)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Scott Lang (bugboi)

sinday, 3:43 p.m.

 

bugboi: i just watched the video and i have never seen t’challa that pissed 

princessofmemes: high quality isn’t it

hardcoreparker: he is the biggest mood

princessofmemes: ‘i will never forgive the school for letting you and that other hell spawn to be in the same grade’

hardcoreparker: ‘what did i ever do to deserve this bast?’

bugboi: ‘dElEtE tHaT fOoTaGe’

hardcoreparker: iconic

__

basketcase#7  
members: 

Tony Stark (ironyman)  
Bucky Barnes (fuckybarnes)  
Natasha Romanoff (natdrunkenoughforyourBS)  
Clint Barton (arrowdude)  
Sam Wilson (falconforyou)  
Peter Parker (hardcoreparker)  
Bruce Banner (angryscience)  
Loki Odinson (godofmischeif)  
Thor Odinson (thorder)  
Hela Odinson (burninginhela)

sunday, 5:56 p.m.

fuckybarnes: everyone heard about the party at gamoras house 

falconforyou: yes and everyone is going right

godofmischeif: yes

fuckybarnes: good because i have plans to reenact that one john mulany thing

fuckybarnes: because thanos is an asshole

natdrunkenoughforyourBS: i feel like gamora is taking one for the team and planned this

hardcoreparker: yeah she is

hardcoreparker: she told me

ironyman: how are you friends with everyone

hardcoreparker: im just likable i guess

falconforyou: he is a cinnamon roll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmm whatcha say


	8. odinson one shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> odinsons are fun to write

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING 
> 
> I DECIDED TO WRITE A BNHA FIC OR THREE AND I DIDNT HAVE THE TIME
> 
> THIS IS VERY VERY SHORT AND I APOLOGIZE
> 
> PROBABLY WONT UPDATE VERY REGULARLY

odinsons

members:

 

Loki Odinson (godofmischief)

Thor Odinson (thorder)

Hela Odinson (burninginhela)

Bruce Banner (angryscience)

 

monday, 1:03.5 a.m.

 

godofmischeif: sister dear

 

godofmischeif: do you have the gasoline

 

burninginhela: indeed i do

 

angryscience: do i even want to know??

 

thorder: i learned its best not ask questions

 

godofmischeif: a gas station pissed me off

 

angryscience: how did a /gas station/ piss you off

 

godofmischeif: they didnt have peanut butter m&ms

 

godofmischeif: so were going to blow it up

 

burninginhela: im blowing it up bc I’m bored

 

angryscience: that is very illegal

 

burninginhela: your point

 

godofmischeif: im going to hell anyway

 

godofmischeif: i already got satan to give me the throne

 

burninginhela: i get to beat gods ass

 

burninginhela: he has a lot to answer for

 

thorder: and i do what?

 

godofmischeif: perish

 

angryscience: sigh

 

 

__

 

friday, 4:44 p.m.

 

thorder: WHAT DO YOU MEAN VERONICA IS BETTER THAN REGINA

angryscience: IM JUST SAYING V GOT AWAY WITH 3 MURDERS

 

thorder: BUT REGINA IS A TACTICAL GENIUS  
  
angryscience: U KNOW WHAT FUCK U IM GOING TO TONYS HOUSE

 

burninginhela: pass the popcorn loki dear


End file.
